Is timing everything? Or is everything timing?
How many times have you heard the phrase “timing is everything”? So many, right? I'm recently married and it is the most fun ever. I love staring at my shiny ring and had so much fun planning/executing our wedding and planning for future things. I have been having so much fun but to be honest, I never thought this would happen for me. I never thought this time in my life would actually come. I always thought that I would be the professional bridesmaid. I never thought we would be planning for my bachelorette weekend or bridal shower because I got so used to doing those things for other people. I mean I was in three weddings in 6 months for goodness sake! And don't get me wrong, I love doing those things but it felt weird for it to be my turn especially when it was so hard to see that I would even get a chance. How sad is that? Why do we think like this? Why do we put ourselves in a boxes? And this isn't just about getting married. Personally, I do this with lots of things in my life. For example, I love creative and writing but I don't make time for creating and writing. When I write, I'm happy and content - I love sharing what's on my heart. I love looking at blogs and people that create content online and dreaming that it's my career. Is timing everything if I'm not making time for the things I love? If I would've committed to doing the thing 5 years ago that I love, how far would I have come in those five years? I gotta stop what if-ing and just do the things I love and searching out joy in a career I love. I'm a huge believer that when I make a move of faith and trust in Jesus, things happen. I would've never even met David if I didn't do exactly that with my break up and move last year. Was that timing? Part of me thinks it was timing paired with a step of faith. Why can't I do that with other areas of my life?
Recently, I was chatting with one of my closest friend's mom. She asked me "how's your school year going?" and I was just brutally honest. I told her that I didn't find joy in my everyday. I told her I didn't love what I was doing and that I wanted to find something that I loved. But instantly my mind went to thoughts like "but this is what I'm already doing, so I should just keep doing it" or "I probably will never be able to do anything other than this since my degree is in this" or even "There's nothing else I'm good at though" (And don't get me wrong, teachers are amazing. I just don't find joy in what I do and that's not fair to my students.) Why do I think like this? There are plenty of things I'm good at. I'm not confined to this box. The thing that really hit me was when she said "I'm going to start praying for you to break out of this because what's the worst that can happen?" and I quickly answered "I mean the worst is being a teacher" That's when it hit me. The worst that can happen to me if I actively make moves to do things I love and seek joy in finding a new career is exactly what I'm waking up and doing right now. I'm already in my worst case scenario. That's sad. I'm disappointed in myself for allowing where I'm at to be my worst spot in regards to my career. I can do much better than that. So is timing everything? Maybe. Is everything timing? Maybe. But what I do know, is that I'm the only person responsible for my happiness and I can't sit around waiting for something else to do that for me.
My husband (still geeking out I get to say that!) and close friends know my heart and they've asked me over and over again why I don't make a change but it didn't quite hit me like it did the other day. My friends and family have always been so supportive of me but I gotta start being supportive of myself. That's all it comes down too. Timing can be part of it, believing and achieving is another part. So what's next? No, I'm not going to quit my job and travel the world until I find my calling (even though the enneagram 7 in me hears that and already starts packing my bags). I am going to start creating/doing things I love like I mean it. I'm going to write my heart when I want to write my heart. I'm going to look at jobs in a career field I think I would enjoy and apply to them. Does that mean I'll find something? I'm not sure, but doing nothing isn't good enough. Doing nothing and allowing "timing" control my future isn't good enough for me. I hate to say it but when I decided to become a teacher, I knew it wasn't my dream career. I did it because it was what appeared the easiest and safest. But safe isn't want I want in my heart of hearts. I can do better for myself. I can move in faith and trust that there is something better for me. Resume writing begins!
Recently, I was chatting with one of my closest friend's mom. She asked me "how's your school year going?" and I was just brutally honest. I told her that I didn't find joy in my everyday. I told her I didn't love what I was doing and that I wanted to find something that I loved. But instantly my mind went to thoughts like "but this is what I'm already doing, so I should just keep doing it" or "I probably will never be able to do anything other than this since my degree is in this" or even "There's nothing else I'm good at though" (And don't get me wrong, teachers are amazing. I just don't find joy in what I do and that's not fair to my students.) Why do I think like this? There are plenty of things I'm good at. I'm not confined to this box. The thing that really hit me was when she said "I'm going to start praying for you to break out of this because what's the worst that can happen?" and I quickly answered "I mean the worst is being a teacher" That's when it hit me. The worst that can happen to me if I actively make moves to do things I love and seek joy in finding a new career is exactly what I'm waking up and doing right now. I'm already in my worst case scenario. That's sad. I'm disappointed in myself for allowing where I'm at to be my worst spot in regards to my career. I can do much better than that. So is timing everything? Maybe. Is everything timing? Maybe. But what I do know, is that I'm the only person responsible for my happiness and I can't sit around waiting for something else to do that for me.
My husband (still geeking out I get to say that!) and close friends know my heart and they've asked me over and over again why I don't make a change but it didn't quite hit me like it did the other day. My friends and family have always been so supportive of me but I gotta start being supportive of myself. That's all it comes down too. Timing can be part of it, believing and achieving is another part. So what's next? No, I'm not going to quit my job and travel the world until I find my calling (even though the enneagram 7 in me hears that and already starts packing my bags). I am going to start creating/doing things I love like I mean it. I'm going to write my heart when I want to write my heart. I'm going to look at jobs in a career field I think I would enjoy and apply to them. Does that mean I'll find something? I'm not sure, but doing nothing isn't good enough. Doing nothing and allowing "timing" control my future isn't good enough for me. I hate to say it but when I decided to become a teacher, I knew it wasn't my dream career. I did it because it was what appeared the easiest and safest. But safe isn't want I want in my heart of hearts. I can do better for myself. I can move in faith and trust that there is something better for me. Resume writing begins!
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